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thDear Blog,

Ok please don’t go into shock! I know it’s unHEARD of for me to post twice in one day, and please don’t worry, I’m not dying!!

Basically I had a lot to say and rather than  making your eyes cross with one GIANT post, I thought it might be better to split it up.

*pats Blog soothingly* shhhh darling, it’s ok. *Blog starts purring*

So, I left you at the Boyfriend part.

Now I know that night doesn’t paint me in the most wonderful of lights, but …..well I don’t have excuses.

Basically, I stopped liking Hot Boy Next Door just as he started liking me, and his obsessive behaviour made me fancy him even less! Desperation is just not attractive.

To be honest, Keith isn’t very attractive either. Like he’s grand, but he has that “I could do with a shower” look about him….and he talks about music A LOT…..and I do try to avoid touching his hair just in case there are things living there…..

But he’s sweet. And he has that confidence that’s sort of intoxicating. And he does make me laugh. And he’s a great kisser. And he is thoughtful. He texts me the right amount.

But still…..he’s not my TYPE!

And I wonder if I’m sticking with him to justify kissing him that night. You know, so I don’t just look like a super skank for kissing HBND’s band mate when I was on a kinda-date with him and then do nothing afterwards. At least if I go out with him, it looks like I was serious about him and not just really drunk and trying to avoid HBND.

Olivia and Tim are great, but they are not so great with serious emotional situations.

So at moments of crisis like this I have two support groups I turn to:

Group 1: My old school and college friend Esme and her boyfriend Michael.

Group 2: My Boys, who consist of four guys I used to work with back in my grocery store days -Ian, Roman, Shane and Niall.

*as you may or may not have realised, I don’t use the people’s real names (could get messy if anyone stumbled across the blog!), so even though it would be AWESOME to have a friend called Esme, she chose that name for herself for blogging purposes*

Group 1 was my first port of call. I headed up to their apartment to get the Experienced In Relationship point of view…and tea…and Fig Rolls.

Esme: Ouch.

Me: I know

Esme: That’s….that’s harsh.

Me: I know. It just happened.

Esme: Hmmmm, well it was a really crappy thing to do to HBND, Lottie, and I’m not going to tell you otherwise.

Me: *hangs head in shame* I know, I’m sorry.

Esme: It’s not me you should apologise to.

Me: You think I should say something to him!?

Esme: I think it’s bad that you made out with one of his mates and then didn’t speak to him for the weeks afterwards. You don’t have to offer him pity; just let him know you realise you were a cow.

Michael: Though you just kicked his pride in the crotch, so don’t expect open arms! He’s probably going to be angry with you, but eventually he’ll feel better.

Esme: And what about Keith?

Me: What about Keith?

Esme: Do you like him?

Me: Yeah….he’s …..grand, you know?

Esme: Lottie, don’t string him along.

Me: I’m not! I don’t think so anyway….

Esme: Look, he sounds like a nice guy, but you don’t seem to keen on him, and I think you’re right about being with him just to avoid looking like a slut.

Me: Oh God, I’m a slut!

Esme: No you’re not! This isn’t something you do all the time. Look, every girl needs to mess a guy around to help her recover from being messed around herself: it’s a control thing after having someone else drive a spoon through your heart. But the decent girls usually feel bad and try never to do it again.

Esme is so wise. She’s like my super-blunt conscience…..if only she could fit in my pocket *sigh*

Group 2 went something like this…with burgers….and cocktails and beer:

Ian: You’re a bitch.

Ronan: Total bitch.

Shane: Queen of the Bitches.

Niall: Yeah.

Me: I know.

Shane: That guy must HATE you!

Me: I know.

Ronan: So what are you going to do?

Me: I think I need to apologise.

Ronan: No don’t draw attention to it!!!! Maybe send him a general text and let him have the satisfaction of ignoring it! He’ll feel better if he thinks he’s done something to you.

Ian: That’s a good idea.

Me: And I should break up with Keith.

Shane: Ah no….you might as well get something out of this….

Ah the boy perspective….

So the plan is to send a general text HBND and throw myself on his mercy (ie: he can ignore me, shout at me, or act like nothing happened) and I’m going to end things with Sweet’n’Smelly Keith….