As has become customary, I must apologise for neglecting you.
You see, when I started you, I had no life, and so I had time to update you quite regularly.
But now that I am not sad and alone, I am lacking in sit-down time with you.
You are always on my mind though. *hug*
The news? Well my dreams to become the Crazy Cat Lady from The Simpsons have been put on hold, as I ……Charlotte Magdalene Lee…..have a sorta-boyfriend.
Oh God, I know!
I’m a sorry excuse for a modern independent woman!
It all started the night I ended up at Hot Boy Next Door’s gig.
Olivia and Tim came along so I wouldn’t look like a loser groupie, swaying alone in front of the stage, but they had developed a geniusly cunning plan to leave when HBND descended the stage and came to my side: they had work in the morning.
So after an hour of awkward drink-sipping and casual armpit-sweat-mark-and-or-smell checking, HBND’s band finished playing (they’re called Led Zeppelin’s Babies….I know, I know….but they actually sound pretty decent and nothing at all like Led Zeppelin….more like The Kooks meet Greenday) and had completed their clean-up, HBND made his way towards me.
Hey Charlotte, he said.
Mmmm hey, I muttered, conscious of the fact that Olivia and Tim were hanging on every word of this stimulating conversation.
So ….did you like our set? he asked.
Set….set….presuming he meant music, I said: Oh yeah, you guys are really good!
Thanks, he said, we learned from the best.
Oh really? I said, not really knowing what to say. Did you have a good teacher?
He gave me an odd look. No I mean we learned from Led Zeppelin. They’re a total inspiration to us.
Oh yeah you can TOTALLY see that, gushed Tim.
Totally, agreed Olivia.
You guys are saps.
Anyway, we have to get going, said Tim, faking a yawn. Work in the morning, you know yourself.
Oh yeah, I need my sleep, added Olivia.
Almost TOO smooth.
And so they left.
And so I was left with HBND.
Do you want a drink? he asked
Oh no, I’m ok, I just got one, I said, pointing to the near-full pint in my hand.
Cool, I’ll be back in a second, he said, trying to signal the barman.
Just as HBND arrived back, his entire band bore down on top of us.
Hey man!!!! said the drummer. Aren’t you going to introduce us to your friend?
Things looked up from there, and the conversation was easy and allowed me to avoid one-on-one time with HBND who was making me feel very awkward after the previous barrage of texts and calls. I started to notice things about him, like his odd nose and the annoying way he kept clearing his throat.
He was very much spoiled for me….maybe because of Olivia or maybe because of his desperate behaviour. I dunno.
Drinks kept flowing anyway and soon, my memory was becoming fuzzy.
One memory that wasn’t fuzzy was the Little Drummer Boy (Keith) leading me to a corner of the dance floor after a session of jumping and head banging to some Arcade Fire song I don’t even like, and kissing me. And me kissing him. Well, maybe “hungry bears mouth-raping” would be a better description considering how drunk we were.
HBND obviously hadn’t told any of His Boys about his crush, because Keith asked how long we’d been friends as we all went for chicken balls and curry sauce after the bar closed.
HBND went home with the bass player (John) instead of getting food ….well not ‘with’ the bass player, just at the same time, so it was myself, Keith, the lead vocalist (Brendan) and another guitarist (Wes) left.
Thankfully my dignity remained somewhat in tact, and I went home alone …to my home…alone ….and walked in to Tim and Olivia sitting up waiting for info.
Trying to maintain an air of sobriety (and failing) I filled them in on what happened.
Both were hysterical with the delight of a person whose friend is inspirationally scandalous, while also showing some sympathy for HBND.
I suppose if you don’t like him, there’s nothing you can do, said Tim, wisely.
So Keith called the next night, in a casual non-obsessed way and we organised something for the next week and we’ve been continuing to organise things since….